Landis fails drug test, passes creepy-looking-guy test ·

The latest news of a cyclist accused of doping has the cyclist-doping saga in a tight three-way battle with Cincinnati Bengal criminal charges and Paris Hilton whore references as the world’s most repeated and least cared about news stories.

After two prominent favorites were suspended (along with seven others from a suspect list of 56) for suspicions of using performance-enhancing substances, winner Floyd Landis was accused of having societal-maniac levels of testosterone. (Link)

Meanwhile, the story has provided the opportunity to constantly see pictures of Landis, who looks less like a cyclist and more like a failed porn star.

If Jeff Foxworthy had sex with a badger and an elderly German woman, you’d get Floyd Landis.

Officials are re-testng Landis’ sample and are expected to announce their findings in the next week or two. Good luck in the investigation, fella.