Madden-ing times ahead for couples; Internet writer uses lame article title ·
Gentlemen, leave your desk job immediately and somehow inform your sigificant other that you won’t be coming home tonight. Madden ‘07 is set for release today which means months of lost productivity at work.
It also means that when your wife or girlfriend asks you ‘What is more important to you, me or that stupid video game?’, you will actually think long and hard about your answer. Which prompts the question, why do women ask sh*t like that? Of course you’re not less important than a video game. You’re just way less entertaining.
Why can’t you just hang out with the girls or do your nails or whatever, I’ll roll into bed at about 2am, feeling spry after kicking a game-winner, we’ll have a quick session while you’re half asleep and call it a day! Everyone wins!
Some of the notable features this year include the Hall of Fame: Superstar mode (where you can do what the Menendez brothers never could – pick your parents) and the ability to to control lead blockers.
Also remember to create a player named Ron Mexico, because that story should never die.
And women, understand that the lead-up to the NFL season is a sensitive time in a man’s life. We’re bombarded with a full pallette of life’s emotional colours.
Along with the excitement and stress of anticipating the unknown for each of our respective favorite NFL teams, we are stuck with learning new button configurations and gameplay settings on Madden, the burden of standing courageously behind fantasy football draft decisions, and new job security issues given the extra time we dedicate to football-related internet activities at work.
Remember how stressful it was planning your wedding or a friend’s wedding? Well, imagine that stress magnified 10 times by having the burden of real life importance and relevance! We need to be supported, not challenged.
Maybe even join in on the fun. Round up some girlfriends and have your own fantasy league. It can be football, or maybe you draft imaginary boyfriends and go through a simulated year of being cheated on and mistreated until one of you finally lowers your standards and settles for someone so you can have a family by the time your high school reunion rolls around.
Good times!
The point: let’s work together on this, not apart. Fighting football is a losing battle, so let both of you be the envy of your sets of friends and just embrace the inevitable.
Madden would want it that way.
Comments
i found your article both titilating and very truthful keep on keepin on!!!
— darren mitchell Aug 22, 08:21 PM #-------
Thanks, Darren. We live to give here at pulledmygroin.com… hehe, you said tit!
— J Roc Aug 23, 07:22 AM #-------
Funny stuff. Should be required reading for women.
At first the title had me thinking it was about Fred Couples.
— weaz Aug 22, 08:53 AM #-------
