PGA Championship gives us a bit of everything, but mostly just golf ·
Phil ‘Lefty’ Mickelson did his thang-a thang on the weekend/early Monday to collect his 2nd major championship of his career after breaking through at the Master’s last year. And with more ups and downs and twists and turns than a good Inspector Gadget episode, the last major of 2005 was a memorable one.
The top of the leaderboard was home to a steady stream of players like my ex-girlfriend whenever I went away on vacation. The course saw 3 solid rounds of golf until Sunday came and all of a sudden everyone started sucking, like my current girlfriend whenever I go away on vacation. Finally, as it always does the day before I come home from vacation, it all culminated with a terrific money shot – in this case, a birdie putt by Phil Mickelson on Monday morning on the 18th hole. All in all, lots of action was had on the weekend. Like my hometown whenever I go on vacation and leave my girlfriend alone…
Then there was Tiger.
Tiger began the tournament by sh*tting the bed, shooting a 5-over 75. Going into the 17th hole of his second round, Woods was at 4 (the projected cut line) and in jeapordy of missing his first Major cut since turning pro. In typical Tiger make-things-harder-than-it-is-fashion, he promptly went and bogeyed the hole. Of course, on the next hole he hit a great shot, birdied the hole, and made it to the weekend.
So you think that’d be the end right? Move on… let Tiger finish out his major and check the score out of curiosity. Nope! The man knows a thing or two about motivation. F*cker went and shot a final round 68 and, at the time he entered the clubhouse, was the frickin leader! He ended up fourth, two shots behind Mickelson.
Man, black people sure are good at sports! Don’t worry, I can say irrational generalizations about other cultures because I once dated a black girl and, generally speaking, black people love me.
Tiger must love everyone else too because no other player in the tournament decided to bring their A game (or even a B game). All the while Tiger was creeping up the PGA leaderboard, the rest of the field was dicking around waiting for someone else to decide if they wanted to win. Of course they all blamed it on weather. Nevertheless, a great way to finish off the PGA’s circuit of majors.
Another exciting happening from the weekend: A tree branch fell and crushed three people!.
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