Athletes get all the chicks ·
Like bread having butter and jelly having jam, sports have unique bedfellows that are constant and unending. Baseball and spitting. Basketball and deadbeat fathers. Football and freaky lesbian cheerleader sex.
How about hockey, you ask? Hockey’s right hand man is a neck full of greezy-ass hockey hair.
Similarly, when God created individuals on this earth, he also gave us all something special to work with. Some of us are good at clubbing seals, some at long division. Ryan Smyth was granted two talents directly from God – a solid wrist shot and a mullet that a hillbilly baby could sleep inside of.
But incest-created babies aren’t the only ones that like hockey hair. Creepy old ladies do too. Lilian Hosking of Edmonton had one wish for her 101st birthday – to run her twiggy hands through the hair of a hockey God.
The half retarded version of Samson showed the centurian a good time yesterday as he went over there with two puck-shaped hash-brownies and a head full of Pert Plus-groomed chick magnet. (Link)
Apparently Smyth appeared to blush as the geriatric rubbed her dead hands through his hair… but that pinkish hue could have just been queeziness from inhaling too much ‘old person smell’.
Smyth finished off by telling Lilian that he’d try and bring her back a Stanley Cup (as if she’d live that long).
When asked how her present was and if she would have liked to do anything different, Lilian said ‘It’s been the best birthday of my life. But if I knew he would actually grant my wish, instead of touching his hair I would’ve asked to hold his hockey stick‘
Comments
i’d hate to be a celebrity and do all that charity stuff. fundraisers, public appearances, talking to half-dead perverts…
— poke Dec 9, 12:04 PM #-------
