9/10 black athletes prefer drinking and driving ·
A recent study has found that when given a choice, most black professional athletes prefer operating a motor vehicle drunk rather than sober. The same study also showed that 34% white athletes mostly drive unimpared while Yao Ming flies a helicopter to work and Mookie Blaylock once tried to use a poorly designed jetpack prototype.
The study comes out of Northwest Long Beach State Community College of Ohio and was part of LaTrell Dawkins’ midterm assignment.
David Stern has applauded the controversial research noting that it is important that we tackle these issues so when he enforces racially-undertoned things like a dress code, or the banning of full-leg spandex, he won’t seem as prejudiced.
“This study clearly shows that I don’t stereotype the African-American, I’m just telling the truth. It is now clear, through scientific evidence, that blacks are reckless and short-sighted and they need me to mandate upper-middle class white values”.
Still, critics suggest that the study is inherently flawed. When asked what methodological approach was taken with the study, LaTrell said “Huh?!”.
According to the abstract, the sample used in this study consisted of “hanging out with my buddies and talking about stuff”.
The results of the study have a margin of error of 37%-100%.
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