Bengals debut Jerk Phone; Long Beach Armada debut jerk pitcher ·
The Cincinnatti Bengals unveiled their heralded “Jerk Phone” over the wekeend in a game versus the Washington Redskins. (Link)
Update: Canseco (the before mentioned jerk) beans four and walks five batters in awesome pitching debut. (Link)
Dubbed as an innovative way to help fans report unruly behaviour in the stands, the hot line received mixed reviews after Game 1.
While it is still considered a helpful alternative to having to seek out police or security, officials noted many people called the line just out of curiosity to see if it worked and not to report incidents.
Also, assumably to overstate the irony of calling a jerk hot line and doing a jerkish thing, a host of fans simply called the line and hung up.
Some people called up the line hoping to find out how to become a better jerk, while others just wanted to phone up to say that Terrell Owens is an a-hole.
The hotline was also criticized for not having voicemail or call waiting. Spokesperson Bob Bedinghaus responded that “we couldn’t justify dedicating our resources to having more than one person man a telephone line”
When asked if he thought that might upset fans, Bedinghaus roared in laughter and said “Fuck ‘em! What are they gonna do, call some sort of Jerk Phone on us?!”
Jose Canseco to start professional game as pitcher.
And in related news about someone who is not only a snitch but also a jerk, the Long Beach Armada of the Golden Baseball League have announced that Jose Canseco will be the starting pitcher in Wednesday’s game against the Reno Silver Sox. (Link)
Canseco features a knuckleball, as fastball, and an uncommon hatred for anyone who has never been famous. The former slugger of both girls and baseballs is grateful for the opportunity.
“I’m very appreciative of the coaches and management who believe in me enough to allow the greatest human being of all-time pitch for them” said Canseco.
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