NFL returns with a strong showing from Charlie Batch's mom ·
In case you didn’t hear, the NFL returned last night with a solid opening match between the Dolphins and Steelers.
Charlie Batch, a slightly more handsome version of Sam Cassell, had a very solid game last night despite his critics. While most NFL analysts wrote off Steeltown without Big Ben and the Bus, Culpepper got back to his ill-timed-turnover form and the Steelers won handily when it was all said and done.
Batch, on the other hand, was poised for the most part, managed the game well, and the Steelers kept to their mantra of tough D and a strong running game.
And then, unfortunately, cameras turned to Charlie’s mom, Lynne Settles, and it nullified anything positive he did. Lynn had this unbelievable gold and black mullet.
It may have been a supportive showing of Steeler colours but damn. Neither my words nor this picture comes even close to doing it justice but it would have gave Goldmember some serious wood.
This on the heels of everyone’s favorite River Dancer’s misguided blond mohawk. Black people done gone and went crazy! I think Chad Johnson is pretty cool and really funny, but what the shit man??!!
Insiders suggest that Johnson is a ‘skipped day of meds’ away from becoming the next Rodman and sitting in a pickup contemplating suicide via shotgun.
Anyway, it’s good to see that some things can remain normal, such as a constant barrage of strange criminal activity. Joe Cullen, an assistant coach for the Lion (and I’m pretty sure a solid ex-NHLer) was arrested, among other things, for driving drunk and butt nekkid. (Link)
Awesome!
He’s been given a one game suspension from the Lions but said he “deeply regrets” what he did and “learned a valuable lesson”. This from the man recently fired from the University of Mississippi for an alcohol-related arrest.
It’s good to see you can actually get promoted from college to the NFL by getting arrested.
He was apparently on his way to have sex with this woman, a chick he met off the internet.
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