Donovan McNabb upset by fat jokes, Richard Simmons offers support ·
Donovan McNabb has had a roller coaster ride the last year and a half or so. After a remarkable run to the Super Bowl in the 2004 season, the Eagles star QB was marred in an ugly feud with Terrell Owens and suffered through a series of injuries in 2005.
The past offseason brought renewed optimism despite the Eagles presence in a very tough NFC East division and, early on, the Eagles have an excruciating loss sandwiched between two impressive victories.
Sandwich being the operative word here because lately, the fat jokes have been flying.
“It seems as if a cloud of misery follows me wherever I go” said McNabb. “I feel like the sad clown a lot of the time”.
I’m sure he meant the fat clown…
You see, according to a widely used measurement tool, the Body Mass Index (BMI), the star QB is considered obese.
At 6’2” and 240lbs (according to NFL.com), Donovan Chunky McNabb generates a score of 30.8 with values above 25 being overweight and those above 30 being obese.
Tubby bitch.
“The insults started in the offseason and haven’t stopped since. McFlab… QuarterpounderBack… Rick Mahorn… It doesn’t stop!”
A visibly shaken McNabb continued, “One guy said that McDonalds should have a real fatty burger and call it the McNabbwich. It’s fucking glandular, asshole!”
Said one New York fan in a bad brooklyn accent, “McNabb’s so fat he needs to keep peso’s in one pocket and Yen’s in the other. Ey-o! Fuuuuuckin’ guy!”
His teammates good-naturedly have gotten in on the act, too.
“D Mac’s so fat he uses the practice field for a slip and slide” said Jeremiah Trotter.
“Yeah” continued Lito Sheppard, “he’s so fat he had to get baptised at sea world! Plus, his shadow’s got stretch marks”
I figure there’s a joke to be made about ‘wide receiver’ actually meaning his own headphones or him in a greeting line but it’s not very funny.
Donovan, whose second chin looks like it could win an eating contest, insists that he’s being unfairly ridiculed.
“The odd time I’ll break down and have a whole thing of cookies” said McNabb, “but I’m working on it and trying my best. I’d hope the public could just support me”
...with a forklift maybe. Badum-ching.
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