The Marge Schott Magnificent Ten ·
Among the things that we missed while we were neglecting our blog, out doing rails of coke off dead hooker ass, was the ‘didn’t see that coming’ racist rant from our loveable Kramer.
Part of it’s shock stems from the fact that racism nowadays is so much more subtle and hidden, so a John Rocker-esque outburst of rage-filled N-bombs really catches your attention.
Because all of the black people from ESPN Page 2 have confirmed to us that Sports is the perfect microcosm of all things race related in the world, we’re surely on the verge of a heated racial exchange among sports figures.
We thought we’d develop a fairly randomn, poorly thought out list of ten sports figures who have a good shot at blowing off some steam, Klan-style.
Call it the Marge Schott Magnificent Ten
10. Bob Knight – Would be done as a legitimate motivational technique, but racist nonetheless
9. Joe Buck – Not really a sports figure but screw it. I think Joe’s just waiting on the right excuse.
8. Jose Guillen – strong potential to be a multiple offender.
7. Peyton Manning – No real reason. Just think that, under the right circumstances, he could lose it. If Vanderjagt was black and that playoff Pittsbrugh game happened 5 years from now in Manning’s only Super Bowl appearance. Speaking of…
6. Mike Vanderjagt – He just seems like a huge a-hole.
5. A good portion of the NHL – Ted Nolan’s career is a good example. It’s apparently not hard to find closet homophobia and, if more than a handful of minorities played, I wouldn’t be surprised to see the same attitude towards them.
4. J.P. Riccardi – Over the past couple of years, Frank Thomas aside, J.P. has slowly rid the team of black players.
3. Scott Skiles – First Ben’s music, now his headband. Skiles obviously believes people should act and look one certain way
2. Tony Parker and Boris Diaw – because French people are fucking crazy!
1. David Stern – He’s clearly uncomfortable with the inner-city, black population. He may very well be a Kloset Klansman
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