I don’t think it’s ignorant to suggest that all athletes with dreadlocks have substance abuse problems.
Donte Stallworth is the latest dread head to regularly get wasted, and he’s got rehab to show for it.
Reports have surfaced that Stallworth entered the NFL’s substance abuse program. (Link)
There has been no indication of what the substance might be but looking at a recent picture of Stallworth, my guess is alcohol or cocaine. He seems too jittery for marijuana.
In possibly related news, a dude I never heard of is back from a hiatus that I never knew he went on. Ryan Tucker took a more appropriate route to deal with his inner demons than Stallworth did by taking a year off football for an unamed mental illness.
The Browns right tackle is apparently ‘fixed’ and hopes to start for the Browns this year.
The NFL Combine is well underway as teams try to justify using the results of a vertical jump test to differentiate the Carson Palmers from the Jesse Palmers of the world.
Former Arizona coach Dennis Green was present as an independant scout and was seen talking with several other GM’s. The ex-Cardinal was furiously screaming at a piece of paper “22! His Wonderlic test score was what we thought it would be!”
Take it easy, Green.
Meanwhile, Mel Kiper was speaking non-stop using vague adjectives that seemed sexual in nature to describe various player performances and predict future success.
Mel said the fellow below had great thrust at his hips, great leg definition, and a “super horny ass”.
When asked what round he might get drafted in, Kiper said “Even with all those good physical attributes, he’s a late-round guy. He would still be a reach around 9 or 10.”
He totally emphasized reach around though.
In a world where black people are now coaching Super Bowls (so I’ve heard), the Toronto Raptors are taking the NBA by storm, and I’ve realized that I just don’t have any tears left for Barbaro, comes another shocking revelation…
Bill Belichick is an a-hole.
Allow me to introduce you to the wife you’ll never have: Colleen Pavelka.
This modern day saint (or should I say Bear??) was induced into labour so that her husband could attend the Chicago Bears NFC Championship game. (Link)
Sweet mother of Christ!
Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts won their first ever Super Bowl on Sunday with a thrilling 38-34 victory over their rival New England Patriots.
I actually didn’t think that the Super Bowl was until February 4th but everyone kept saying that the real Super Bowl was the game yesterday. Boy am I red-faced!
Terrell Owens’ publicist Kim Etheridge was fired yesterday for what can only assume is gross incompetence.
Etheridge was infamously quoted as saying that TO had “25 millions reasons to be alive” after a reported suicide attempt. And, as we all know, money makes people happy. No exceptions.
She should have just quoted Melissa Etheridge aptly titled song “If You Want TO”:
Yes that’s what I said
Guess I thought that I was dead
So I just called you from my bed
To say hello
See I’ve got this funny notion
life is only just an ocean
I’ve been drowning in emotion
Now I’m swimming back to shore
And I’d like to talk to you
If you want to
You can call I’ll be around
If you want to
You can write this number down
Chris Weinke, at 28, was the oldest player to ever win the Heisman trophy. He was drafted by the Carolina Panthers where he has played mostly as a backup after a disastrous 2001 season.
The Seminole quarterback has re-emerged recently and including the loss last weekend to Pittsburgh, Chris Weinke has lost his last 17 straight starts.
Some of the QB’s mechanics have looked strikingly familiar so we started to do some digging on Weinke and found something very interesting.
While most believe that his late start in College was due to a minor league baseball career, PulledMyGroin.com has learned that Weinke’s first career was actually in wrestling.
It turns out that Weinke is actually the Brooklyn Brawler. Fuck a duck, hey?
This easily explains his current losing streak and one can see, given his wrestling attire, how he could’ve been confused with a ball player.
Chalk up a loss for the Panthers, the Brawler’s back!
It was after the Saints beat the Falcons. Got it from this guy.
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